like a jonathan richman song

there we were at the lexington club.

i was hanging out with the crafty bitches, a humorously titled lesbian knitting group that meets once a week at the lex, a staple bar of the mission. we were sitting there, having a pleasant time drinking, talking and stitching when he walked into the bar.

i hadn't noticed him because my back was to the door and i had somehow gotten myself into a bit of a knot. the yarn had spaghetti'd on me and no matter how good my kung fu was with the knitting needles, i couldn't quite twist my way out. to be honest, i don't think anyone initially noticed him, but he must have thought he was in heaven. had god led him to this treasure of beautiful x chromosomes? he wandered from table to table and woman to woman, taking it all in as the patrons gave cold shoulders or hard glares.

eventually, he found his way to our table.

"hey ladies..." he said, his voice smooth and slow, like a prepubescent barry white wannabee. "can i... buy you fine women a drink?"

the silence that followed didn't last that long on the radars; it was probably just a hiccough more than anything else, but we all noticed it. it was a tiny pulse in the galaxy that only slightly registered anywhere outside of our small radius of knitters, but went off the scale on our own instruments. heather looked up at him and gave him a smile.

"no... thank you," she said sweetly and then returned to her story about the 4 year old boy at her daughter's birthday who wanted to wear the tiara. his uptight parents were horrified when he announced that he was the queen of the party.

the stranger stood there for a moment longer, ignoring the story and apparently also ignoring the refusal.

"i would really love it if i could buy..." he tried to continue.

"uhh... no." said heather again, looking him straight in the eye. all sweetness in her voice chilled from cupcake frosting to ice cube frost. irritated that her story had been interrupted again, she tried to get back to the the subject of the tiara.

he stood there silent, looking longingly around the bar. he probably wondered why nobody had told him about this lovely oasis.

quietly, he shuffled away.

<10.05.03>

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