i have dinosaurs on the brain.

for reasons that i can't really get into, i've been looking at a lot of dinosaurs lately. they're making me do it. it's like alex being forced to watch the ultra-violence with the clips on his eyes and the straps on his arms. fortunately they haven't applied clips and straps to me yet, but there i sit, in front of the avid, watching the damn dinosaurs over and over again while a droning narrator tells me about the mating habits of the tyrannasaurus rex.

so for the past three days i've been watching the same dinosaur documentary over and over again. shot by shot. second by second. frame by frame.did you know that the olithicarius lived approximately 40 years? or that the culasucas is one of the few surviving modern-day dinosaurs? i didn't think so.

my ex-boyfriend had dinosaurs on the brain. he used to know way too much about dinosaurs for no readily apparent reason. he could look at an illustration of pretty much any dinosaur and tell you whether it was a meat-eater or vegetarian, what its social habits were and probably narrow it down to what era it belonged to. one day as he was telling me about the predatory eating habits of the whatever-a-saurus i asked him why he knew so much about dinosaurs, he then revealed to me that he had an addiction.

despite the fact that he was brought up as the son of a teacher, he absorbed most everything that wasn't art education through the television. his mom would leave the tv on pbs all the time and he became addicted to the nature shows. he knew so much about wild african safari animals and which spiders were poisonous and which ate the mosquitoes. it was so great to have him around when we were camping in maui and the gigantic cane spiders would saunter into our tent, scaring the bejeezus out of me. now i know cane spiders are just huge, gigantic, mutant creatures that aren't poisonous. good.

he was able to retain much more knowledge than the poor mutaborasaurus, which had a hard armored shell and a tiny, tiny head. the armor took up so much of the head's mass that there's very little space for the brain. the mutaborasaurus probably didn't think too much about that though.

he was a good guy - the ex-boyfriend, not the mutaborasaurus. the ex really knew how to get to my heart, like the tyrannasaurus rex. the male tyrannasaurus is petrified of the female because she is so much more fiercer and dangerous than than he is. the only way that he can get her to mate with him is to offer her food. if he doesn't have the food with him when they meet, the female will kill him on sight and eat his carcass. this makes for a very unnerving first date. it's probably a good thing that we're both vegetarians.

ummmm... i think i should probably step away from the keyboard now.

did i tell you that i have dinosaurs on the brain? <5.5.00>

 

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