elmer bernstein lives in my brain.
he might not be too excited to know that he's living in my brain, but i can't help it. it just seems that everything i do in my life comes with a full orchestral soundtrack playing in the back speakers of my mind. i mean... it's not necessarily the theme from the magnificent seven or airplane! but there's definitely an underscore going on in there. sometimes there'll be maybe a shimmer kids song or a low spacemen 3 drone going on, but hey, elmer wrote music for the blues brothers too, didn't he? just because you have someone scoring the movie, doesn't mean you can't have a couple of catchy songs thrown in too.
i don't really know where this music comes from, all i know is that if i'm walking along, minding my own business and it's a bright sunny day, there's music in my head that i don't recognize. it's just something playing along being improvised on the spot. it makes me think of when silent films were accompanied by live musicians, sitting there in the darkened theater, ready to bang the piano when the train headed towards the damsel in distress and play the appropriate love theme after the hero rescued her.
the music is pretty varied... there's different styles for different things. sometimes i'll have the "theme to doing my laundry" song going on, but i much prefer the upbeat "driving in my car when there's no traffic" orchestration, complete with violin and cello - sometimes it's just a poppy little tune with lots of guitars and maybe a saxophone, but i enjoy it regardless of the instruments involved. "learning how to replace the engine to my car" ranks pretty high up there in my songbook, believe it or not. the engine song really sounds a lot like something john williams would write for a scene in "raiders of the lost ark" - there's all this intense buildup going on because you don't know if the car is going to work in the next scene or not and all you can do is wait and find out. will something blow up? is the radiator cap screwed on tight enough? the violins swell in pitch.
despite the fondness i have for "replacing my engine," i have to admit that my favorite tracks come from when i'm doing something exceptionally strange. i don't think i can even begin to explain how the "gluing a toaster to the side of the wonderbread factory" song goes, but someday i'll hum a few bars for ya.
sometimes it worries me that i'm the only one that hears this music. i don't want everyone to think that it's like voices in my head. sometimes my paranoid fantasies have me imagining myself being tied to a stake as the bloodthirsty masses get ready to set the fire for some horrible musical crime that the high notes made me commit, but i doubt that the soundtrack will take me to those extremes. on the other hand, if i ever develop turretts syndrome, it'll probably be pretty amusing to hang out with me when i unconsciously start breaking into song. i'll be a walking, talking, singing musical extravaganza all in one package. how much more entertainment could you possibly ask for??
all words (c) filmfatale industries 2000