the humvee was totally fucking ridiculous.

that's what i was thinking as we drove the cherry red monstrosity through the pseudo southern california streets of palo alto. cherry red hummer. who would have imagined that such a thing even existed?

for reasons that seem more entertaining in the abstract rather than the reality, nica had rented the hummer for jim's birthday. it appeared to be the perfect followup to the flying lessons nica got for jim the year before, and more than anything, it makes for good comedy.

when i found myself behind the wheel and driving something far beyond my needs, i started to have wild fantasies about construction men walking around with large glass panes or rows of fruit stands, ready for my climactic chase scene which was obviously just about to happen. the concept of this 14,000 pound land-boat catching anything short of a vespa seemed a a little delusional, but highly entertaining.

i wanted to drive it up the stairs. my original plea to take it down to hollister and experience the off road vehicle park was usually met with a change of topic from everyone else in the truck. after that idea was quietly nixed, i eyed every curb, stairwell and street obstacle with angst-ridden longing. could i really maneuver this car the size of a four cow orgy to climb those stairs?

did i really just imagine a four cow orgy?

that's a little disturbing.

<06.07.02>

 

 

 

 

 

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