the new ikea just opened up.
i bitched about it a couple months ago but now it's here, it's a reality. it's bright blue and sunshine yellow and it is the exact size and shape of a borg spaceship. not that i personally know what the size of a borg spaceship is, but i have my suspicions.
what really puts a bee in my bonnet is the blatant begging of advertising dollars from all the local san francisco newspapers. i expected it out of the depressingly predictable chronicle, and even the franchise conglomerate sf weekly, but i was aghast to find a sales column written under the guise of 'news' in the san francisco bay guardian, one of the few publications of which i had any semblence of trust for. next to their calls to justice for the underdog and articles about the gentrification of our fine city, is a full page article touting how ikea is furniture for the people. i kept reading the article expecting some biting commentary at the end, but instead i just felt dirty. dirty dirty dirty.
i have no idea why this company even needs to advertise. if i am to believe the propaganda that these news sources have to offer, then more than 26,000 people showed up at the front doors of this alien craft on opening day. 26,000 people have already been brainwashed without the aid of fawning news stories and editors getting kickbacks.
editors of these publications should instead get on their knees and offer to suck whatever part of the body that the ikea advertising manager wants. i would probably pay good money to see that. instead i see pandering, obsequious newspaper articles about how it's good for the soul to shop at at the swedish clone factory. wouldn't it be cool if your furniture looked exactly like everyone else? the only difference would be how each individual consumer interpreted the assembly instructions of their particular piece of furniture.
"great, i fucked up my sven stool. " <4.26.00>
all words (c) filmfatale industries 2000
