i wonder about their bad habits

i saw the nuns.

i was at bed, bath & beyond the other day, doing the types of things that one does at stores like this, wandering around in a daze as fluorescent lights bombard me with their evil little photons. the smell of plastics was a little overwhelming as i stumbled around on the first floor filled with kitchen utensils i could never find a use for and horribly ugly storage options. my shopping basket was half empty when i ran into the nuns.

i don't know why i'm always surprised when i see nuns. you would think that parochial school would have proven to me that there are such things as nuns. they're not just something you see in movies, looking stern from underneath their habits. come to think of it, parochial school has proven to me that nuns even carry rulers, so they can threaten children with them in school. it brings back horrific memories of sister marie antoinette in junior high, getting angry with me at every opportune moment, holding her ruler in her hands, as if she was about to strike.

despite my many years of parochial training, i still think of nuns as a bit mythical. like elves. now imagine wandering around bed, bath and beyond and finding yourself suddenly in the midst of elves. except instead of tiny people with big shoes and high voices, they were old, benign looking women dressed entirely in white. white habits, white gowns, white shoes, white women. the fluorescent lights even seemed to create a halo around each bemused wife of god.

the gaggle of nuns stood at the checkout counter, mumbling contentedly to themselves about their consumer items, smiling at each other as they compared prices on towels, sheets and soap dishes. for some reason it never occurred to me that nuns would buy items for their convent. i guess i had always imagined that there were nun interns or nun slaves who would do these things for them.

i guess nun slaves don't exist.

<10.18.01>

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