why are you such a drama whore?
i mean... not that i mean to call you a whore, but you are. wait. did i say that? was that my inside voice or my outside voice? i'm sorry.
i mean... i think it's funny when you do that thing where you get yourself in a really fucked up situation and then wonder aloud why people act so weird around you. it's like a badly written i love lucy episode. you know, the ones where lucy and ricky move to hollywood. lucy would just fuck up in the biggest way in front of all kinds of really important people but everyone still loved her in the end. that's what i think of when i think of you. the canned laughter in the background of my mind almost makes me giggle. hey, does anyone use canned laughter anymore?
don't get me wrong, i think you're cute and everything with your tattoos and your huge, gigantic eyes, but you're fuckin' psycho. you're psycho in a non-lethal sense, so it doesn't worry me too much, but it worries me enough. it worries me that there seems to be a lot of people who really think you're this charming, honest person when i can see right through it. i'm the kid looking through your new royal clothing.
what's even more impressive is that there was a time when i believed the hype. i have to admit that your stories are hilarious and you're thoroughly engaging. i'm embarrassed to admit that i even wanted to sleep with you, but fortunately the relationship deities were looking out for me. i'm so glad that i slaughtered that sacrificial lamb for them. to be honest, it was really more of a sacrificial spider, but believe me, it was all very ceremonial.
anyway, enough of all that. i've somehow managed to extract myself from having anything to do with you and your crazy relationship exploits.
exhale big sigh of relief here.
fade out.
roll credits.
<4.20.00>
all words (c) filmfatale industries 2000